hari ini dan semalam..

semalam..21/2/2011

bgn pg..pergi amik rose..
gerak ke bank islam..
then ke PK..
PK xnak wat medical check up..menuju ke klinik Mega..
kat sane wat med c/up..
cam biase..timbang berat..ukur tinggi..
pastu urine test..
check mate..
paling menakutkan..time amik darah untuk test hepatitis..
cuak gak tgk mase jarum tu nak masuk ke dalam tgn..
wuhu.. berjaya darah diambil dgr byknya..
byk la..kalo compare ngn rose nye..cam sikit je  huhu..
da setel tu.. p amik rin kat kkm.. dia ajak p makan..
p kejut dulu..amik borang perjanjian kat yan..
then makan je kat cafe kejut..
tgh makan atok call..
atok:mushai, ko free x?
aku: ptg ni free lah..
atok: kite p serdang jum.. tgk jaket n jersey..
aku: ok je..tggu rin wat medical c/up dulu lah..
atok: ok..nanti ambil aku kat hentian..
...
g antar rin kat PK..
aku balik bilik..nak print senarai nama
thne rin gtaw..
akak,si meow ikot sekali boleh? dia di PK ni..
aku ok je..
jam 330 lebih sket..bertolak ke serdang..
aduhai..aku terlupakan seseorang itu..
kerana beranggapan dia ade class..
ok salah aku xtanye dia..
....
kat kedai tu.. 2 kedai yg bertentangan je kami survey.
pastu..decision trus je dibuat setelah rase cam ok..
malas nak delay2 n nak pening2 pikir lagi..
amik je ape yg dioffer..
jaket+seluat n jersey
total rm80..
murah la kan..
drpd kedai depan tu..
jaket je.rn75..
mahal...
setel..trus balik..
tido jap..ngntok sgt..
bgn p trening..
tgn aku sgt saket..ntah sape lah yg kick aku kuat gila..
n aku block..mane x saket..
pas trening makan kat kiosk..
free..sape nak tolak kan..
thanks dak2 kiosk..
balik sembang2 ngn rumet..
men citiville..tido

harini 22/2/2011
kol 830 bgn..
siap2..kol 9 lebih g clas..
pelik sebab lam class xde org..
masuk then xlame pastu ada lecturer masuk gtaw
prof yusof akan start class jam 10..
aiyo.. time tu da 930..nak bekfes xde geng..
p lepak kat tempat tia..
pastu kol 1015 camtu start kuliah..
kol 12 lum abes lg lecture..
aku da rase cam nak marah je prof tu..
da start lambat..nak habis lambat juga
rose,miza n yang da kuar masuk..g toilet..answer call..
tp lecture masih diteruskan..
kol 1250 kot baru habis.
aku trus kuar..g kedai fotostat..
then cari lecturer yg available..
tp lunch hour..ramai yg xde..
so tangguh la minta cop tu..
p makan..solat..
kol 2 lab..
wat jar test..
sampai jam 4..
kol 4 class risk analysis..
sampai la kol 615..
aku da beberapa kali terpejam mata..ngntok..
actually rase nak skip je class ni..
rase penat sgt..
rase cam nak demam ..
tp tahan je.. p gak class..
pas class p antar rose..
then p isi minyak..
p solat kat petronas..
p stadium hantar jaket syah..
balik bilik..
makan cookies..
kol 8 tido..
smpai jam 10..
sedap~
bgn..mesej2 rin n floe..
kol 1045 rin dtg bilik..
jam 12 bru nak jalan lah rin..
dia tido dulu..
jam 12 bgn..siap2..
call acap..xangkat..
tido rupenye dia pas discoz..
dekat jam 1 bru gerak ke cheras..downtown..
p sane minta deposit aritu..
makan cucuk2..
balik..
terlanggar red light tadi..
ade flash camera pulak tu..
kena saman mungkin..
hurm...

sekarang..
menaip2 ni..
pasni nak tido..

esok
kol 11 class..
setelkan cop2..
kol 230 nak p IWK..
jam 4 p serdang amik jaket dll..


motip aku wat diary tetibe?
suka ati aku lah~
haha
aku juz nak igtkan diri sendiri ape yg aku dah wat
n ape yang aku akan wat..
tu je~

ok..good nite all..

thank you~

smile!!!
laugh!!!
cheer up~

last night..mimpi..terjaga at 7 lebih..
tido balik..
bgn round 10 camtu.. da xigt ape mimpi td..haha..
tp yg aku igt mimpi tu ada la budak tu yg aku mesej sebelum tido mlm tu..
tu ju yg mampu igt..yg len x..huhu..

da bgn igt nak men citibil..tp jaring problem..
so buka cte IRIS..tgk2 sket..rin mesej..tnye dapat tenet.ke x..
so, rase cam dia urgent nak gune tenet,
ajak dia g cc uo..
aku pon nak siapkan surat visit tu..
so leh print skali..hehe..

n lunch bersame2..ngn floe juga..
kat azura..
kol 155 sampai kat burhan..
floe ade class kol 2..elok dah..
haha..
pastu kuar balik g guardian..nak beli brg keperluan..
pastu da balik..smbung tgk IRIS..then bace report kak mizah..
wat notes sket..
call Kapar PP..
then gtaw kak mizah,rose n marcus for next action to be taken..

ngntok tido..
then bgn tgk2 vid 2PM..
kol 6 cmtu tenet da ok..
mula mengutip rent dan harvest kat citibil..
yay~

then jam 745 anto rin p exam..
pastu p trening taekwondo..
rase puas bila da berpeluh2..hehe..
then makan2..

sampai bilik..trus buka citibil..
haha..

xsah hari tanpa citibil~ hahaha..

bukan saje2 nak cite kehidupan arini..
kesimpulannya---aku rase gembira bila dapat wat ape yg aku kena wat..
setel things sket2..(thanx boo)..
lunch supper same2..
trening..
siap wat surat..
da call Kapar PP..
so rase lega sket..
wlpn masih ade unsettle things..
but its okay..sket2..

Alhamdulillah,i thank Allah for letting me breath on His earth and giving me all this..
esok Maulid Rasul..mari menyambut dgn selawat dan salam ke atas Rasulullah S.A.W..

p/s: SJM daebak!! too perfect!!

masih lagi sobs..

aigoo..
ari2  rase nak nanges ni..ape kena?
selalu kalo period pon..xlah camni..
ni melampau punya mood swing..
aish..

things are getting difficult n harder..
is there is a day i won't worry at all?
can i juz be calm..?
i worry things a lot..*sigh*

i knew myself..
im not that conscious and alert..
i will usually stumbled upon something..and fell..
bump into something at my head..
and get hurt..
this is me..
i dont know how should i do to be better..
same goes to my driving skill..
im not a good driver i admit it..
once i made a mistake..i turn to be shaking all inside..
even though it might not seen from outside..
people might think i dont really care but i do..
only i knew what i felt..
its not like i dont appreciate 'my mom's but also mine' car
i do.. but things turned out unexpectedly..
plus i am this kind of person..
ignorant..n all..
so things are getting worse..*sigh*
i dont deserve a car after all..
i should just take the bus going to classes..

and yes i do worry a lot..
those unimportant matter will also be my burden..*sigh again*

i dont know who else to talk to..but this is the only way i can tell my feelings..
i dont really tell people what i really feel..
they might know by my face..and they mightn't know too..
and will they care too?
im a fake in front of everybody..
cuz im not a happy-go-lucky person..
i wanna be one..
i tried to but its hard..
but i dont want to be this sulky-sloppy-gloomy girl either..
but the truth is..this is really me..
im not friendly..but i wanna make friend..
im not happy but i wanna be happy..
there are so many 'not' in me..
and i want the opposite..
can i?
well i am a person with no expression i guess..
people can only tell if im tired thats all..
nothing else..cuz thats the only expression i will always wear..
notice it?

my mind wander a lot today..
im lost in my own world..
im not hearing what are people talking about..
cuz im totally not into it---referring to kursus kawen
balik tido lagi bagus..
cuz sgt2 ngntok..*sigh lagi*

i miss my frens.. tqa, hawe, dewi, anis..
sume jkasians..
nak balik umah..
wanna hug my mom n dad..
nak kuar tgk movie ngn abg n adik..
nak men ngn muna n ihsan..
nak kasi mimi (kucing) makan..
nak berhenti rase nak nanges..sebab memang nak nanges je..xmo tahan2 lagi..
(camne nak p wat phD kat korea nih?)

--------------------------------------------------------------------
again..
wanna share with my readers..
Mad World-

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world..


adios~

sobs..

waa...
sgt2 rase nak nanges..
tepon mak td pon suara da rase lain..
kalo ckp ngn abah lagi la rasa nak nanges..sib bek abah da tido masa kol td..
huuu.. mak abah sorry..
PiJaT..minta maaf~
xsengaja mencederakan ko..
huk huk...

calf, minta maaf juga sebab masih sakit..
huhu..da lama xtrening..memang la camtu..
huuu..xpe t b4 tido aku sapu ubat okeh..

yang.. sorry belum call Kapar PP..
isnin t i call ok..

en rashid, sorry kaco..isnin ni sy p visit STP Putrajaya orait..

ester, sorry..kalo report n penyata belanja MASUM tu xok..
hopefully ok lah kan..

kak azx..sorry kak azx demam ritu..xdpt nk tmpang bilik sy tido kejap..coz sy da gerak p class..

tia, sorry lum kasi lg cite secret garden..

Dr OJ, sorry progress thesis masih di tahap yg sama..

Prof-prof sekalian..sorry assignment lom siap lg..
huhu..da wat discussion ngn kwn2 pon masih buntu..
tolong discuss bersama kami ye..

meow, tiqah.. huuu..cane ni sal tix..adoi..

rin..sorry sy abes lmbat xsempat kmu g selection tu..
syah..sorry if ko tggu lame kat fak td..

floe..sorry sal td..aku siyes igt ko gerak sendiri..
n paksa ko mkn..aku blanje sehinggit okeh..
ko xmarah kan..hee

ade lg yg aku xsebut?
ade..mungkin terlupa..
minta maaf semua..
sorry for everything..

btw, confidence level sgt low sekarang..
rasa diri sgt2 teruk in whatever i do..
but then again, its all i choose to do..
like it or not, i still have to face it..

who do you think you are?

all of sudden, i feel like writing..
why?
because i need to get this out of my chest..
i don't feel at ease anymore..
i don't like it..and i hate it..
but this is what is happening..
i started to hate people..
i'm sorry but hatred is what i feel..
why is it that you looked down on people?
what makes you think you are damn great and others are just damn worst?
who do you think you are?!!

sometime, people at first i don't like, eventually will turn out as my favourite
but what if the opposite happens?
all i can do is to keep quite so that things will not get nastier..
i just have to stay calm so that the hate will go away..
well..
W.E.M.L!!!!

~Heart, all the hurt will soon be gone
If you’ll just keep on being strong~

im writing this while listening to Christina Perri's Jar of Heart
-And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are -